How do you go to the bathroom? How do you walk around the house and leave him in another room? What happens if he spits up or chokes on it? How are you not suppose to check to see if he is breathing every two seconds? How do you type on computer with one hand because he does not want to be put down? How do you not want to eat him up with all his cute chubbiness? I want to squish him with love! I want our first week back. I want him to be giggling and walking and talking and asking questions until my head explodes.
How will I deal as he grows older and gains independence? How do you teach and tell him everything is going to be okay when in fact you are just going with the flow, one day at a time.
I am and will have how do you and what do you do's for the next 18 years. I don't expect answers. We will learn together. After all he does not even know "how". He just knows cry now and boob will appear.
Now that I am here it amazes me that so many women do this. Young girls becoming mothers. Single women doing this on their own. I applaud them for their strength. I applaud all mothers and even the fathers. Cheers to new "hows"! ( i am toasting with a cup of water!)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Coming Home
He likes his car seat. He likes the car. He is overall a very good baby. He will notify you when comfort is no more. He lost 1 lb. in the hospital and has gained that and then some back. I would say he is at 12 lbs. now and grown 2 inches. He is healthy and hungry!
Its a Bear
So much to catch up on. So much to say. First off after being a week overdue and asked several times by my doctors if I would like to be induced I finally said yes. Two weeks prior to my induction my doctor was listening to the Bean's heartbeat and stated what a big baby it felt like. Uh oh. It should have set off ringers but I was bound and determined to do this naturally! We went into the hospital on March 7th at 8:30 am ready for our induction. My sister, KB and I completely prepared for not knowing what to expect what so ever. I was hooked up to picotin and an IV. I had been having small contractions for weeks but nothing was happening. So I just knew today would be the day I would have a baby. This time next week I would have a baby. By this time tomorrow I would be a mother.
Some things you can't control but through all of my pregnancy I have kept an open mind- as much as possible. I was prepared with my birth plan, had music, and lovely sister providing massage and fashion and gossip magazines. We began. Contractions were getting bigger and I felt more confident than ever that I could do this. Even my nurse believed in me! However my cervix was not believing in me. They sent in an Ultrasound technician. She measured the baby for his weight and that is were is all started to turn. Her eyes got big and she said "oh, oh my uh oh". That never is good. She said I was going to have a very large baby averaging 9lbs 10oz. My Doctor called and said I could labor all the way to 10 centimeters and do everything naturally as I wanted but in the end my cervix was not opening and my pelvic bones were way to small for something so large. Besides feeling honored that I was petite in the bones I had not expected a c-section. Perhaps an epidural at most. Well there goes that birth plan.
Kb and I finished our game of goldfish got some good food seeing it would be my last for very long time. I had not read the C-section part of What to Expect when you are Expecting so I decided I should brush up on that a.s.a.p. After couple sentences Kb told me I was not allowed to read anymore as to not freak myself out.
This time tomorrow I will have a baby.
So early the next morning the nurses came in and got started on the prep work. In no time Kb was entering the surgery room I hear "Wow that is a big head". Doctor's started biding on his weight "can I get a 9.5, how about 10?". "Kenneth do you want to tell her what it is?" A boy! A perfect 9 lbs. and 12 oz baby boy. 10 fingers, 10 toes, a penis, and the Monroe nose! Just like I was a mother.
As I type this now wearing my boppy I have the most handsome little guy in my lap sleeping very happily. We are home now not knowing what to expect from one moment to another and that is how I expect it to be from now on. No expectations and that is just fine with me.
All Good!
Our first meeting...
Some things you can't control but through all of my pregnancy I have kept an open mind- as much as possible. I was prepared with my birth plan, had music, and lovely sister providing massage and fashion and gossip magazines. We began. Contractions were getting bigger and I felt more confident than ever that I could do this. Even my nurse believed in me! However my cervix was not believing in me. They sent in an Ultrasound technician. She measured the baby for his weight and that is were is all started to turn. Her eyes got big and she said "oh, oh my uh oh". That never is good. She said I was going to have a very large baby averaging 9lbs 10oz. My Doctor called and said I could labor all the way to 10 centimeters and do everything naturally as I wanted but in the end my cervix was not opening and my pelvic bones were way to small for something so large. Besides feeling honored that I was petite in the bones I had not expected a c-section. Perhaps an epidural at most. Well there goes that birth plan.
Kb and I finished our game of goldfish got some good food seeing it would be my last for very long time. I had not read the C-section part of What to Expect when you are Expecting so I decided I should brush up on that a.s.a.p. After couple sentences Kb told me I was not allowed to read anymore as to not freak myself out.
This time tomorrow I will have a baby.
So early the next morning the nurses came in and got started on the prep work. In no time Kb was entering the surgery room I hear "Wow that is a big head". Doctor's started biding on his weight "can I get a 9.5, how about 10?". "Kenneth do you want to tell her what it is?" A boy! A perfect 9 lbs. and 12 oz baby boy. 10 fingers, 10 toes, a penis, and the Monroe nose! Just like I was a mother.
As I type this now wearing my boppy I have the most handsome little guy in my lap sleeping very happily. We are home now not knowing what to expect from one moment to another and that is how I expect it to be from now on. No expectations and that is just fine with me.
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